GoneBuddy.com :: Away Messages that Don't Suck!

I'm a gerbil. And I'm proud to be a gerbil. And as a gerbil I've seen some good times, and I've seen some bad times. These, my friends, these are the worst of times. An evil, black angled shaped cloud hovers above us. It is filled with the acid rain of gerbil hatred. It's thunder is the maniacal laughter of those that find gerbil death amusing. It's lightning strikes our tracts of helpless warriors with lethal, demon microwaves! My people, our people, are systematically being led to slaughter by a false, eye-defiling cow-worshiping, heathen-devil-pagan! His name, is Joe Cartoon; gerbil genocide is his intention. Up until now, our response has been, "Bite Me"...."Who's Your Daddy?" People, this is a sick, pathetic, sadistic madman. Name calling: don't do nothing. 
I, for one, am tired of talking. I, for one, am gonna let my piece do my talking! 
 
I, for one, am gonna blow a couple caps, in Joe Cartoon's ass! Deep down inside every one of you, you know full-well that this is our only resort! We have a right in this country to defend ourselves from jeopardy! I'm gonna blow a couple caps in his ass! Yeah! Who's with me?! 
 
-Mr. Gerbil's Genocide Speech 
-Joe Cartoon