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by: Lil Eli (05/22/2007)

Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
(Lois and Peter stare in silence)
Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts.
(Peter and Lois keep staring)
Meg: You don't know anything about me.
(runs upstairs)
Peter: Who was that guy?

-Family Guy
TV/Movies
1300 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (05/31/2007)

Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur skeletons.)
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

-Family Guy
TV/Movies
1300 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (05/22/2007)

Lawyer: Peter, Sarah has decided to press sexual harassment charges against you.
Peter: Sarah...Is that the one we video taped taking a dump?

-Family Guy
TV/Movies
1303 Clicks

by: kNUckLEsZ (05/07/2007)

Lois: Hey, Stewie, what would you like for dessert?
Stewie: A peace offering, hey? Okay! I'll have the ice cream. But, no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find I will kill you!
~Family Guy
TV/Movies
1300 Clicks

by: SpiceRack06 (05/07/2007)

"Dear mom please send money because we're college students and we need notebooks, highlighters, books, Ramen noodles, and condoms for sexual relations with classmates"
- Stewie, Family Guy
TV/Movies
1301 Clicks


Pages: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | Total: 113
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