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105 - 110 of 113 Results found for family guy ...
by: bored4eva (06/15/2004)

Peter: "This party couldn't be better if Jesus was here"
Jesus: "For my next miracle, I will turn water... into FUNK."
~Family Guy
TV/Movies
1302 Clicks

by: ocs (05/21/2004)

"So I'm a child, am I? Well, I'll tell you what, Lois. If you're married to a child, you know what that makes you? A Pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert."
- Peter Griffin, Family Guy
TV/Movies
1309 Clicks

by: Albot (05/19/2004)

"Hey 911? It's Quagmire. No! No! It's in a window this time!"
- Glen Quagmire, Family Guy
TV/Movies
1301 Clicks

by: ImFaMoUsBaLlA09 (04/21/2004)

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its Best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Naughty
1321 Clicks

by: Wex (04/13/2004)

"Math, my friend, is the lesbian sister of Biology."
- Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Homework/Study
1305 Clicks


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