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Lois: Come on, sweetie, don't be afraid. It's just water, it's not gonna bite.
Stewie: SHUT UP! I know it's not gonna bite, stupid, what a stupid thing to say. You drown in it you moron, it doesn't have to bite you!
Lois: "I figured I could be kind of like Hilary Clinton. Except..you know...without the penis"
Pignose: He doesn't like you.
Pignose: I don't like you either.
Chris: You don't even know me!
Pignose: You know, that's fair. My name's Pignose and this is my brother-in-law, Scott. He's visiting from Hoth.
Scott: I don't know why they call it Hoth. They should call it Coldth.
Pignose: Settle down now.
Scott: I'm up after the band.
Family Guy: Blue Harvest
Peter: Come One, Come All. She floats like a butterfly and stings like when I pee.
Stewie: So, what happened sport? Come on, talk to your pal Stewie.
Brian: Alright, but only because I've gotta tell somebody. I pretty much just threw myself at Lois.
Stewie: So, you finally did it huh? Well look Brian, as your friend, I should tell you that that vagina is ground zero man. I mean I just wrecked that thing on the way out, and just to be a jerk, I carved "Brooks was here" in the wall. Did you see that? Did you see "Brooks was here."
Brian: We didn't have sex.
Stewie: Of course with Chris going before me I pretty much just walked outta there. Didn't even have to stoop over. There was even room to twirl a cane as I strolled.
Brian: You're exaggerating.
Stewie: Only a little bit! That's the messed up thing.
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