GoneBuddy.com :: Away Messages that Don't Suck!

Free Horoscopes Badass Profile Tweaks Layouts Zwinkys

Home

Top 25 Users

Top 25 MSGs

Buddy Icons

Help

bondage

So far I've submitted 15 away messages, and they've been used a total of 4331 times. Here are my messages...

by: bondage (07/19/2007)

Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving But Aren't
10. "Reach in and grab the giblets."
09. "Whew..that's one terrific spread!"
08. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"
07. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
06. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"
05. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"
04. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
03. "It's cool whip time!"
02. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"
And the number one thing that sounds dirty at Thanksgiving, but isn't is:
01. "It must be broken 'cause when I push the tip, nothing squirts out."

Naughty
869 Clicks

by: bondage (07/12/2006)

Top 8 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of The Catholic Church

8. Walk up to the priest and say, "Daddy! I've finally found you!"
7. When the Eucharist is placed in your hands, run around, yelling, "AHH! IT BURNS!"
6. Go up to the person giving out the wine, take a sip and say, "Is this really Jesus' blood!?" When you get a reply of "yes", take another sip and say, "Holy crap! This guy must have been a drunk! It tastes like pure alcohol!"
5. During silent prayer time, yell out, "Hey, guys! Wasn't the book The da Vinci Code the most truthful piece of reading ever!?"
4. If you're doing the readings, before you read the scripture, look right out onto the congregation and say,"Isn't it something special that our pope used to be a Nazi!?"
3. When taking up the money box and you reach the altar, lean over and whisper into the priests ear, "Can you tell me which door would be faster to get out of so I can put this in my car?"
2. When lighting a prayer candle, light the wick and say, "Ooh! The colors!"
1. Walk into church and say, "So what about those 95 Thesis?"

Jokes
776 Clicks

by: bondage (06/14/2006)

Aint no party like a %n party because a %n party don't stop!

Other/Random
36 Clicks

by: bondage (05/30/2006)

I could never be a cartoon..wearing the same thing every single day just doesn't appeal to me.

Other/Random
86 Clicks

by: bondage (04/30/2006)

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum , "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? The asshole is usually in charge !!

Jokes
461 Clicks

Pages: 1 2 3

Help

Submit Yours

Simpsons Away Messages

Art/Pix Babysitting Bathroom Celebs	Chuck Norris Drinking Eating Emo/Real Life
Funny Gaming Geek General	Girly Homework/Study Inspirational Jokes
Laundry Love Mean Naughty	Other/Random Partying Phone Political
School/Class Shopping Shower Sleeping	Sports TV/Movies We Salute You Work

Advertise Ops