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by: kate28 (10/15/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Multi-Colored Sweater Wearer.
A squiggly, jiggly mish-mash of colors
We wouldn't be caught dead in
But it sure looks good on you.
(squiggly jiggly)
They say Beauty's in the Eye of the Beholder
We say:
Whoever be holdin' that thing
Be holdin' one ugly sweater.
(keep holdin' on)
No, I wasn't dragged down the highway and my insides are showing,
I'm wearing my new sweater
(someone call a doctor)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mister Natty in his Knits
It may just be an ugly sweater,
But it sure is...
An ugly sweater.
We Salute You
1,184 Clicks

by: kate28 (10/15/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Movie Theatre Ticket Ripper Upper
Truly the long arm of the law at the movie theatre
You and a velvet rope are all that keep the huddled masses from a free flick.
(show me nowww)
As a vigilant, you boldly demand to see our stub
Getting a little personal, don't you think?
(Can I see your stub?)
Who's the guy in the military style uniform that would make any third world dictator proud?
Mr. Movie Theatre Ticket Ripper Upper, that's who.
(salute the general)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, stub master, because you really tear it up.
We Salute You
1,174 Clicks

by: kate28 (10/08/2007)

Today we salute you, Mr. Nosebleed Section Ticket Holder Guy
Congratulations. With the help of two Sherpas, and a mountain goat, You have finally reached your seats (touch the skyyy)
Tickets
Check.
Souvenir
Check.
Oxygen Mask
Check.
(gettin' dizzzyyy) From where you sit, you can see your house...
And Canada.
And Japan.
(I see Okinawa) The one thing you can't see...
The game.
(Oh noooo)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Chairman of the Cheap Seats
Because you, sir, sit on top of the world. Literally.
We Salute You
1,178 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Ultimate Philadelphia Sports Fan.
Football.
Baseball.
Competitive eating contests.
If the dog show came to town,
You'd tailgate it (you're the shitzu) Your dedication keeps your football going. Going where? Nobody really knows. (we should be going somewhere)
You sir, will boo anything.
Long lines.
The hot dog vendor.
A jolly old fat man at halftime.
(he totally had it comin')
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Bastion of Brotherly Love
Nobody can take away your passion, But if they tried, You'd launch a snowball at them.
We Salute You
1,175 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Taxi Cab Over-Accessorizer Bobble-heads. Tropical air freshener. An Antique Chandelier. You've got it all covered In tinsel and marti gra beads. (I can't see the road) When it comes to interior design, You don't trust anything that can't be plugged into a cigarette lighter. (Can I use your toaster) No matter where they're going, Your passengers always ask the same question: Is this a taxi-cab, Or a Turkish bazaar? (how much for the candelabra) So take a day off and crack open an ice cold Bud Light Knight of the Knick-Knack Because only you can proudly say: Yes, I do have junk In my trunk.
We Salute You
1,173 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller. Part cooler. Part luggage. Only you understand the best way to carry 9 ounces of macaroni salad Is in a 43 pound cooler. (it's got wheels) It holds enough for an afternoon picnic A tailgate party Or a 12-day trip to Istanbul (I'm gonnna have to check that) Perfect for the man who has everything. Everything except a friend to help carry a cooler (Unpopulaaar) So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Hauler of the Hot Dogs You'll find it right under the sub sandwich The potato salad And the giant tub of baked beans.
We Salute You
1,199 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Raise The Net Before They Kick The Field Goal Guy You could've been doing curtain calls on Broadway But you chose to wait in a frozen endzone for a kick in the net (can't feel my fingers) Every time like a magnet to the ball.. Nothing but net If only we can get you in the limelight (kick it I'm open) Wide left. Wide right. Straight through the upright. Without you, the Titans ball budget would put us over the salary cap So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Titans fans And toast this fisher of footballs As net-minders go All that's missing is the hockey mask and the dental work.
We Salute You
1,185 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Radio Traffic Announcer Guy. No stuffy power suit for you You wear the same old t-shirt With the same old faec growth But who cares? No one can see you. (glad you can't see him) Rain. Snow. Sleet. Or Shine. It doesn't matter You'll brave any weather From an air-conditioned room with no windows (you didn't warn me) So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Master of the Five-Mile Back-Up Because no matter how bad the traffic is You could care less Cause you ain't in it.
We Salute You
1,185 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Pro Sports Heckler Guy. They say those who can't play.. coach Apparently those who can't coach Sit 30 rows back Shirtless. Shouting obsenities. (that's right mother F-er) Thanks to you Our team is armed with game-winning tips like "Catch The Ball" and "Throw It" (shout it out now) "You stink" "That sucks" "What a bunch of losers" Not just cat calls But subtle psychological ploys to prod your team to victory (reverse psychology) So here's to you, oh Sultan of Shouting Because while there may be no I in TEAM Thanks to you There's always an F and a U.
We Salute You
1,180 Clicks

by: vctrackster (03/19/2006)

BUD LIGHT PRESENTS: Real Men of Genius.
Today we salute you, Mr. guy who works at burger king
(mr. guy who works at burger king!)
you, armed with only a spatula and a high school diploma
(or not!)
you serve up only the finest heart attacks on a bun.
(arteries are cloggin!)
no matter how low your job pays you, you still dont take shit
(you let us eat it!)
so crack open a bud light guy who works at burger king, because you know how much the ladies like your meat...
(mr. guy who works at burger king!)
We Salute You
1,196 Clicks


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