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by: realgenius   (07/18/2005)

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
Today we salute you, Mr. 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer
There are 24 hours in a day, you're wearing 80 hour protection. If the Sun fails to go down, you'll be ready. Your coconut scented force-field blocks out all the suns rays, and any stray rays from another sun, in another galaxy. 30 SPF? Please. You might as well be wearing cooking oil. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer. In fact, feel free to crack one open at high noon, in the middle of the Sahara desert.
We Salute You
1,418 Clicks

by: vikinghoya   (07/12/2005)

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
Today, we salute you, Mr. Deer-Hunter. You, the burly man with the tattoos from 1984 have proven to the world that yes, a human being wearing camouflaged clothing with scent stopping fibers, night vision goggles, a three thousand foot viewing scope, a fifteen thousand dollar military sniper rifle, and tank-armor piercing bullets, can indeed kill a female deer drinking from a stream. You have proven that not only can ducks and turkeys be stopped by your quick hand and pinpoint accurate shot, but so can black bears and even mountain lions. So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Outdoor-sie, because we all know, it is men like you that will conquer this world of primal beasts and animals, until, of course, Wal-Mart runs out of bullets.
We Salute You
1,425 Clicks

by: vikinghoya   (07/11/2005)

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
Today, we salute you, Mr. Massive SUV Man. You, the small middle aged male who works in his cubicle of shame for ten hours each day, and then comes out into the world by driving that massive vehicle that not only protects you and your family, but also kills everything that gets in your way. With your credit card in hand, you spend 12% of your child’s college savings to fill up your beast of an automobile with Arabic oil. They say that you are compensating for a small penis, and they are right, but you will drive that SUV with the “Support Our Troops” ribbon and “W For President” sticker until they find a safe surgical technique to increase your size. So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Hummer, because we all know, that when the time comes, your car will be the first one the aliens destroy because of its menacing size and wasteful use of space.
We Salute You
1,422 Clicks

by: gskillet55   (06/29/2005)

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius. Today we salute you, Mr. Tiny Thong Bikini Wearer. Beach goers all over see you coming and say "hey check out the wooly mammoth in the rubber band. Who says you need muscles and a big package to wear one of those? Not you, that's for sure. Like ground meat crammed into a sausage skin you take to the beach and proudly strut your stuff. If you've got it, flaunt it, that's your motto. Which is ironic because you haven't got it. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light sweet cheeks, and know that if you weren't wearing that suit we'd ask you to take a bow.
We Salute You
1,419 Clicks

by: Anonymous   (12/15/2004)

Today we salute you, Mr. Edible Underwear Maker. Your true genius combined two of man's favorite things: Panties and Food. They're a snack, they're underwear... they're a snack AND underwear. Brilliant. Gorgeous Grape, Rock My World Raspberry, Bodacious Banana. And nothing says, "I want you" like a mouthful of underpants. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Edible Underwear Maker. Because thanks to you, when it comes to panties, extra large means extra yummy.
We Salute You
1,417 Clicks

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