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by: Anonymous (12/15/2004)

Today we salute you, Mr. Edible Underwear Maker. Your true genius combined two of man's favorite things: Panties and Food. They're a snack, they're underwear... they're a snack AND underwear. Brilliant. Gorgeous Grape, Rock My World Raspberry, Bodacious Banana. And nothing says, "I want you" like a mouthful of underpants. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Edible Underwear Maker. Because thanks to you, when it comes to panties, extra large means extra yummy.
We Salute You
1,417 Clicks

by: GoneBuddy (11/15/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Holiday Gift Regifter Guy.
You understand the holidays aren't about receiving
But giving.
And you give and give
Until every lame gift stored in your attic is gone.
(ignore the cobwebs)
A ceramic singing cookie jar.
I love it.
And more importantly
When I pawn it off on my secretary,
She'll love it too.
(thank you Mr. Johnson)
It's all worth it when you see the looks on their faces.
Looks that say:
How can I politely throw this back into the trash can it came from?
(smells kinda funny)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Holiday Gift Register Guy
When it's the thought that counts,
We count on you.
We Salute You
1,419 Clicks

by: gskillet55 (06/29/2005)

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius. Today we salute you, Mr. Tiny Thong Bikini Wearer. Beach goers all over see you coming and say "hey check out the wooly mammoth in the rubber band. Who says you need muscles and a big package to wear one of those? Not you, that's for sure. Like ground meat crammed into a sausage skin you take to the beach and proudly strut your stuff. If you've got it, flaunt it, that's your motto. Which is ironic because you haven't got it. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light sweet cheeks, and know that if you weren't wearing that suit we'd ask you to take a bow.
We Salute You
1,419 Clicks

by: kate28 (05/27/2008)

Today we salute you Mr. Deer-Hunter.
You, the burly man with the tattoos from 1984 have proven to the world that yes,
A human being wearing camouflaged clothing with scent stopping fibers,
Night vision goggles,
A three thousand foot viewing scope,
A fifteen thousand dollar military sniper rifle,
And tank-armor piercing bullets,
Can indeed kill a female deer drinking from a stream.
You have proven that not only can ducks and turkeys be stopped by your quick hand and pinpoint accurate shot,
But so can black bears and even mountain lions.
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Outdoor-sie,
Because we all know,
It is men like you that will conquer this world of primal beasts and animals,
Until, of course, Wal-Mart runs out of bullets.
We Salute You
1,419 Clicks

by: kate28 (05/29/2008)

Today we salute you Mr. Discount Airline Pilot Guy
Your minimum experience flying a plane
Will never land you at a reputable airline.
Luckily, you don't work for one.
(look at me I'm flying)
Sure we're concerned for our lives,
But not as concerned as saving 9 bucks on a round trip to Fort Myers
The most direct route to Houston?
Through Fort Lauderdale.
With layovers in Detroit, Vancouver, and Kalamazoo.
(I can't feel my legs)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Skipper of the Skies.
You put the FLY,
In Fly-By-Night Operation.
We Salute You
1,418 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Ultimate Philadelphia Sports Fan.
Competitive eating contests.
If the dog show came to town,
You'd tailgate it (you're the shitzu) Your dedication keeps your football going. Going where? Nobody really knows. (we should be going somewhere)
You sir, will boo anything.
Long lines.
The hot dog vendor.
A jolly old fat man at halftime.
(he totally had it comin')
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Bastion of Brotherly Love
Nobody can take away your passion, But if they tried, You'd launch a snowball at them.
We Salute You
1,422 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Taxi Cab Over-Accessorizer Bobble-heads. Tropical air freshener. An Antique Chandelier. You've got it all covered In tinsel and marti gra beads. (I can't see the road) When it comes to interior design, You don't trust anything that can't be plugged into a cigarette lighter. (Can I use your toaster) No matter where they're going, Your passengers always ask the same question: Is this a taxi-cab, Or a Turkish bazaar? (how much for the candelabra) So take a day off and crack open an ice cold Bud Light Knight of the Knick-Knack Because only you can proudly say: Yes, I do have junk In my trunk.
We Salute You
1,423 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller. Part cooler. Part luggage. Only you understand the best way to carry 9 ounces of macaroni salad Is in a 43 pound cooler. (it's got wheels) It holds enough for an afternoon picnic A tailgate party Or a 12-day trip to Istanbul (I'm gonnna have to check that) Perfect for the man who has everything. Everything except a friend to help carry a cooler (Unpopulaaar) So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Hauler of the Hot Dogs You'll find it right under the sub sandwich The potato salad And the giant tub of baked beans.
We Salute You
1,422 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Raise The Net Before They Kick The Field Goal Guy You could've been doing curtain calls on Broadway But you chose to wait in a frozen endzone for a kick in the net (can't feel my fingers) Every time like a magnet to the ball.. Nothing but net If only we can get you in the limelight (kick it I'm open) Wide left. Wide right. Straight through the upright. Without you, the Titans ball budget would put us over the salary cap So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Titans fans And toast this fisher of footballs As net-minders go All that's missing is the hockey mask and the dental work.
We Salute You
1,428 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/30/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Radio Traffic Announcer Guy. No stuffy power suit for you You wear the same old t-shirt With the same old faec growth But who cares? No one can see you. (glad you can't see him) Rain. Snow. Sleet. Or Shine. It doesn't matter You'll brave any weather From an air-conditioned room with no windows (you didn't warn me) So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Master of the Five-Mile Back-Up Because no matter how bad the traffic is You could care less Cause you ain't in it.
We Salute You
1,420 Clicks

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