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by: kate28   (08/02/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Camouflage Suit Maker.
Your amazing skills of deception can trick a deer into thinking we’re just a tree out for a walk,
Or a shrub having a cup of coffee.
(shrub havin’ coffee)
Tirelessly you perfect your artistry:
The squiggly black line.
The blob.
The slightly larger blob.
All in spectacular shades of green
(green green green)
Thanks to you we look fabulous in or out of the forest,
With a suit that can easily be accessorized with face paint and a few twigs.
(dressed to kill)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Camouflage Suit Maker.
Because when it comes to blending in, You really stand out.
We Salute You
1,166 Clicks
by: kate28   (05/27/2008)

Today we salute you Mr. Boneless Buffalo Wing Inventor.
How do you improve upon a meat that is breaded, buttered, double-fried
And dipped in blue cheese dressing?
Remove the only part that doesn't contain fat.
(don't need no chicken bone)
Gone now is the race to eat the drumsticks first,
Leaving the wings for the other poor suckers.
(hands off my drummies)
Is it leg?
Is it wing?
Is it rear end?
Now every chunk is as identical as it is indistinguishable.
(hope I'm not eating rear end)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light,
Boneless Wing Mastermind.
Because we don't have a bone to pick with you.
We Salute You
1,162 Clicks
by: kate28   (08/28/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Gasoline BBQ Starter.
Never mind charcoal chimneys
And easy lighting brickettes.
The only way to start a real barbecue
Is with a gallon of 93 Octane
And a big book of matches
(light up the sky)
Who needs eyebrows?
You're hungry,
And you've seven pounds of lamb shanks ready to go.
(that's a lot of kebabs)
You don't just defy convention,
You defy warning labels,
And common sense.
(very low IQ)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Prince of the Pyrotechnic.
Because no one makes a backyard mushroom cloud like you.
We Salute You
1,161 Clicks
by: kate28   (05/29/2009)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Overzealous Foul Ball Catcher.
You're nowhere close to that foul ball heading for the bleachers.
Who cares?
You're goin' for it.
(that ball's MIIINE)
Hot dog vendors.
Old ladies.
Infants.
You mow them over like a diesel-powered combine.
(yeahhhh)
Ashamed of your souvenir fervor?
Hardly.
You scratch and gouge your way to the ball like a blood-thirsty wolverine.
(you're a fiesty rodent)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Bully of the Bleachers.
Because why pay for a souvenir,
When you can fight for one?
We Salute You
1,156 Clicks
by: vctrackster   (03/19/2006)

BUD LIGHT PRESENTS: Real Men of Genius.
Today we salute you, Mr. guy who works at burger king
(mr. guy who works at burger king!)
you, armed with only a spatula and a high school diploma
(or not!)
you serve up only the finest heart attacks on a bun.
(arteries are cloggin!)
no matter how low your job pays you, you still dont take shit
(you let us eat it!)
so crack open a bud light guy who works at burger king, because you know how much the ladies like your meat...
(mr. guy who works at burger king!)
We Salute You
1,155 Clicks
by: kate28   (06/12/2009)

Today we salute you, Mr. Parade Float Driver.
Real men don't drive shiny sport cars.
Real men drive old school bus chassis covered in papier machet, pansies and puppets.
(slow and easy)
Why?
Chicks dig floats.
Just ask the Carson County Pork Queen waving from the back end.
(lovely pork queen)
You drive with sweaty palms.
One wrong move from you and Paul Tilley's Olde Tyme Barbershop Quartet is history
(Oooohhhhhhh!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Thoroughbred of the Thoroughfare.
When it comes to parades,
You really float our boat.
We Salute You
1,154 Clicks
by: kate28   (08/28/2008)

Today we salute you Mr. Fake Tattoo Inventor.
Through the miracle of hypoallergenic adhesives,
You transform us from mild mannered accountants
Into roadhouse biker hooligans
(hoooligan)
Be it screaming skull,
Or thrashing tiger,
You've got a temporary alter-ego for any occasion.
(flaming dragon)
What else says "I love you, mom"
Like a heart with a sword through it?
(you know I love you momma)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Fake Tattoo Inventor Guy.
We may not have been born to ride,
But thanks to you,
We can feel like it.
We Salute You
1,153 Clicks
by: kate28   (08/02/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Cargo Pants Designer.
You finally gave us what we wanted. The military look-
Without all that bothersome drilling, marching, and shooting.
(fashion victory)
Is that a banana in your pocket?
Yes.
And an orange.
And a pocket comb.
And an extra set of keys.
And my sunglasses.
(totally prepared now)
How many times have you been in a restaurant and thought:
”Man, I wish I’d brought my own jar of mayonnaise.”
Now you can.
(yayyyyy)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Oh Prince of the Pockets. Some may fill your shoes,
But no one can fill your pants.
We Salute You
1,153 Clicks
by: vikinghoya   (07/12/2005)

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
Today, we salute you, Mr. Deer-Hunter. You, the burly man with the tattoos from 1984 have proven to the world that yes, a human being wearing camouflaged clothing with scent stopping fibers, night vision goggles, a three thousand foot viewing scope, a fifteen thousand dollar military sniper rifle, and tank-armor piercing bullets, can indeed kill a female deer drinking from a stream. You have proven that not only can ducks and turkeys be stopped by your quick hand and pinpoint accurate shot, but so can black bears and even mountain lions. So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Outdoor-sie, because we all know, it is men like you that will conquer this world of primal beasts and animals, until, of course, Wal-Mart runs out of bullets.
We Salute You
1,152 Clicks
by: kate28   (07/10/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Cruise Ship Entertainer.
When Tinsel Town and Broadway said "no,"
The cruise ship said "yes."
(ohh yeah)
You may never get your star on Hollywood’s walk of fame,
But you do get free access to the salad bar
(mmm croutons)
Your peppy numbers bring the audience to their feet,
Which is impressive, because most of them use walkers.
(osteoporosis)
Your motto: The show must go on…
And on…
And on…
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Prince of the Port Hole.
You can swab our poop deck,
Anytime.
We Salute You
1,152 Clicks
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