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by: forgoodorforevil (05/30/2006)

Remember I was there...
When we declared war on Iraq, I was there.
When Katrina hit, I was there.
When Tom Cruise forced Katie Holmes to change her name to Kate I was there...

But I'm not here.

Celebs
1,131 Clicks

by: Diablo52688 (05/30/2006)

Away like Lucy Liu's lazy eye...

Celebs
1,129 Clicks

by: evildrew12 (05/30/2006)

"I'm on the highway to hell"
-AC/DC

Celebs
1,126 Clicks

by: gcf (04/19/2006)

"We are the proud parents of a child whose self esteem is sufficient enough that he doesn't need us advertising his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
- George Carlin

Celebs
1,132 Clicks

by: Flip Idle (04/17/2006)

|C|H|U|C|K||N|O|R|R|I|S| - My Anti-God

Celebs
1,125 Clicks

by: this is me (04/11/2006)

Right now, all I have to say is... ...well, it's the wisest thing Paris Hilton ever said: Nothing.

Celebs
1,125 Clicks

by: Tennismaniac14 (04/11/2006)

"I have this fear that when i jump into the pool, someone is gonna pour oil on top of the water and light it on fire. And finally when i find a not firey spot, the guy's gonna push me back in and light that part on fire."
-Dane Cook

Celebs
1,127 Clicks

by: robo_dragon (03/30/2006)

Bill Cosby just gave me some pudding and he is taking me to his house!!!

Celebs
1,128 Clicks

by: bizzoony (03/26/2006)

Dear Nelly,
Not only does no one know your first name, but I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped making songs that have to do with removing articles of clothing. I can no longer make an innocent comment about the rising tempurature without someone yelling "SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!!!"
Second, Why did you join up with Tim McGraw and do a COUNTRY SONG!? What ever happened to the band-aid-wearing, bling-carrying, retard-punching Nelly that everyone liked?! Now you go and make a pathetic song about a dude that looses his girl friend, so he goes and sings about it with a COUNTRY SINGER?! Jesus man, you sure have lost everything, including your balls.
Lastly, I walked into Home Depot the other day, and i dont know if was just a creepy bad omen, but when i entered the "Back Yard Grills" Section of the store, your latest song popped onto the speakers. You have no idea how awkward it is to scan the walls of grills when you hear "Lemme see your girll!" echoing around you. Lastly, I want you to find the baby-eating freak who compared himself to George Forman for selling people braces for their mouth! Is my dentist George Forman, is the store clerk at Home Depot George Forman? I punched the store clerk in the face and knocked him out, does that make me Mike Tyson?! I BIT OFF THE EAR OFF MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER, AM I MIKE TYSON!?!?!?!?!!!!

P.S. May I have your autograph?

Celebs
1,163 Clicks

by: wizard5707 (03/12/2006)

What's with Simon anyways and always using the same phrases to describe people? (Utterly dreadful, horendous, appeal to those over 70, 80, 90... What?) Simon you need to just get you some sex, some malt liquor, a Xanax, a Lexapro, a Zoloft, a Prozac, an all-expenses-paid cruise a mile off the Florida coast (But you must pay your own airfare!), and/or go back to option one and just get you some really good sex. You, my friend, need to get laid and just CHILL OUT! What did you sing anyways? Why are you so important? I have never heard of you before so apparently you suck just as much as the contestants you say suck.

Celebs
1,148 Clicks

Total Messages: 185, Now viewing messages (41 - 50)
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