away messages that dont suck
Home

 Top 25 Users

 Top 25 MSGs

 Buddy Icons

 Help
Browsing Drinking...
Sort By: Clicks | Submitter Name | Most Recent

by: kate28   (01/13/2010)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Supermarket Deli Meat Slicer.
To feed America's hunger,
You stand dangerously close to a buzz saw,
Armed only with a salami.
(just youuu and your salami)
Behind your glass fortress,
You quickly fill orders as shopper's shout,
"Hey! I was first."
(taaake a number please)
And no matter what you're slicing,
From bologna to liverwurst,
You always hit your mark...
One-tenth of an ounce over.
(thaat's the way I like it)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Oh Master Slicer.
And remember, when someone asks "who cut the cheese?"
You can proudly say,
"It was me."
Drinking
36 Clicks
by: medic_jess_27   (07/27/2009)

Remember:
Wine is fine.
Brandy makes you randy.
Whiskey makes you feel frisky.
But a good stiff Johnny Walker will get you pregnant.
Drinking
29 Clicks
by: ??????????   (07/27/2009)

I swear to drunk I'm not God.
Drinking
8 Clicks
by: caucasianasian   (07/27/2009)

Celebrating the BRB of life:
Beer
Rum
and more Beer
Drinking
6 Clicks
by: ??????????   (07/27/2009)

Drink your beer, there are sober kids in Africa.
Drinking
3 Clicks
by: Sped-Head13   (07/27/2009)

I used to think drinking was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.
Drinking
16 Clicks
by: tink10379   (07/27/2009)

When I started reading about the evils of drinking, I stopped reading.
Drinking
10 Clicks
by: rgangsta   (10/22/2008)

i dont have a drinking problem. i drink, i get drunk, i fall asleep. see?! no problem!
Drinking
30 Clicks
by: kate28   (07/28/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Doggie Day Spa Operator. Watching your dog endure the hard-knock life of sleeping, eating, and going number 2, You've created a doggie utopia of sleep, eat... and go number 2. (that's 200 dollars) Leaving your dog in a car on a 90 degree day-- Inhumane. Leaving your dog in a 90 degree sauna-- Pampering. (another 200 dollars) Some people shave their dogs for the summer. YOU shave them, Trim their split ends, And add highlights. (your bill is 600 dollars) So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Oh Primper of the Pooch, Every dog will have its day, As long as it has an appointment.
Drinking
97 Clicks
by: MoBaby   (06/12/2008)

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Drinking
32 Clicks
Total Messages: 215, Now viewing messages (1 - 10)
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22
Simpsons Away Messages



 Art/Pix
 Babysitting
 Bathroom
 Celebs
 Chuck Norris
 Drinking
 Eating
 Emo/Real Life
 Funny
 Gaming
 Geek
 General
 Girly
 Homework/Study
 Inspirational
 Jokes
 Laundry
 Love
 Mean
 Naughty
 Other/Random
 Partying
 Phone
 Political
 School/Class
 Shopping
 Shower
 Sleeping
 Sports
 TV/Movies
 We Salute You
 Work
© CGI Inc. 2009
Privacy Policy
Advertise Ops
Free Horoscopes