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by: checkitout836   (04/22/2005)

Cigarette: My life sucks. Everyday someone lights my ass on fire, then sucks on me like I'm a Slurpee. Then when they're done, they throw me on the ground and step on me while the rest of me burns to ashes.
Wiener: You think that's bad? Everyday my whole body gets covered in some kind of straight jacket, and I'm plunged into some dark cave. I go back and forth like I'm on a broken roller coaster, and when the ride's over I throw up like a madman!
Naughty
1,242 Clicks

by: ImFaMoUsBaLlA09   (04/21/2004)

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its Best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Naughty
1,240 Clicks

by: shortyduckie   (06/18/2004)

¿Quieres tú coger desnudo?
Fais vous voulez à acquérir dénudé?
Doen jou wens tegen verkrijgen onopgesmukt?
Fare voi volere a tavola cogliere spennato?
Otaku ketsubou dzuki choudai neikiddo?
Tun du müssen zu erhalten nackt?
I just said Do u wanna get naked? in 6 different languages: Spanish, French, Dutch, Italian, Japanese and German! WORD! So... do you? ;-)
Naughty
1,240 Clicks

by: dawiteshak   (05/13/2006)

Different Types of Orgasms Part ONE:
Sex in a boat = Oargasms
Sex with a nerd = Dorkgasms
Sex at the entrance to your house = Doorgasms
Sex on the carpet or linoleum = Floorgasms
Sex at the supermarket = Storegasms
Sex with wild pigs = Boargasms
Sex at a Stephen King movie = Horrorgasms
Sex with a prostitue = Whoregasms
Sex with a storyteller = Loregasms
Sex with an accountant = Boregasms
Sex while sleeping = Snoregasms
Sex with Arthur = Dudley Mooregasms
Sex with cartoon donkeys = Eeyoregasms
Sex while broke = Poorgasms
Sex with a lion = Roargasms
Sex for hours and hours on end = Soregasms
Sex on a golf course = Foregasms
Sex with a nymphomaniac = Ready for Moregasms
Sex in a gold mine = Oregasms
Sex with a dermatologist = Poregasms
Sex with the vice president = Al Goregasms
Sex with chocolate marshmallows = S'moregasms
Sex with a bullfighter = Toreadorgasms
Sex with a masked man carrying a sword = Zorogasms
Sex on the beach = Shoregasms
Sex when you get an award = Honogasms
Sex at an all you can eat buffet = Smorgasbordgasms
Sex on a cruise ship deck = Shuffleboardgasms
Sex in Asia = Singaporegasms
Sex among the wonders of the world = Outdoorgasms
Naughty
1,240 Clicks

by: Dennis   (02/22/2004)

I am not available beacause I am watching a pornagraphic video that requires the whole screen.
Naughty
1,239 Clicks

by: Miss murder   (09/28/2006)

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.
Naughty
1,239 Clicks

by: Bryant91223   (12/11/2006)

DONT TALK TO ME!!!! IM AS MAD AS A QUEER WITH LOCKJAW ON VALENTINES DAY
Naughty
1,239 Clicks

by: notherdangwesson   (08/21/2007)

I'm hoping one day that the sandman will mistakingly grab his bag of cocaine instead...
Because waking up should be that intense.
Naughty
1,239 Clicks

by: Darlene   (02/23/2004)

Sex is like math: Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and just pray you don't multiply!
Naughty
1,238 Clicks

by: racing152   (06/25/2004)

The Long Way Home
Two sperm are swimming in a woman's body. One sperm says to the other in exhaustion, "Whew, Just how far is the uterus anyway?" The second sperm begins to laugh and says, "The uterus!? We just passed the esophagus."
Naughty
1,238 Clicks


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